WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IS GROSS AND USES THE WORD "COLON"
So I referenced in the blog below a man who sells this Almighty Cleanse on infomercials. It's a seven-day colon cleanse that he says should be done seasonally to rid the body of parasites that cause back aches, foot odor and hemorrhoids, among other ailments.
He claims that he has passed a nest of worms and a six-foot-long rope-like thing, photographs of which he took and airs on television. (I wonder if this guy's married.)
Anyway, here's my question:
Assuming you believed the hype about colon cleaning and that all that "stuff" was in your body...would you really do anything to remove that stuff?
I mean...they haven't killed me yet. I may as well just let them stay up there. I have a sneaking suspicion that most people I know would take a "wait and see" attitude toward potentially unhealthy colon parasites that we'd rather not see.
What does that say about people? I don't know.
(Free advice: Don't type "colon cleanse" into Google images. For real.)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Camp meeting is two words
As a lonely, single adult, I often spend my time channel surfing instead of doing chores. "I'll do chores when I get married" is my mantra.
I often end up passing by INSP, because it's just a few channels away from Nickelodeon, which plays SpongeBob Squarepants. And SpongeBob Squarepants is the best cartoon that's been produced in the last decade.
I have found that INSP, also known as the Inspiration Network, specializes in the following types of programming:
1. Infomercials for religious/do-gooder charities, such as Feed the Children and St. Jude's Children's Hospital.
2. Infomercials for snake oil solutions to clean your colon, complete with pictures of things excreted during the regimine.
3. Infomercials for easy ways to get rich using real estate.
4. Campmeeting!!!!
Oh, glorious Campmeeting! (One word, not two!)
Campmeeting, as they call it, seems to be a gathering of a bunch of ministers who I imagine hang out a lot together--Mike Murdoch, Benny Hinn, some people with the last name Cerullo, and a few guys I don't know, but who are probably tight with each other.
Three-fourths of the times, when I happen to flip by, it's always on the part where Mike Murdoch is telling people about how people continually buy him clothes and cars. I don't begrudge the guy his cars and clothes, but I'd personally just ask God for cash, because it takes less storage space, but whatever.
Anyway, the whole point of this message is that, for some reason, INSP chose to call it "Campmeeting" as one word.
This irks my very soul.
There's no reason it should be one word. Camp meeting is two words. So is health care, BTW. Health care is never one word.
I choose not to give to a ministry that blatantly flaunts its incorrect grammar. It's one thing if it's an obvious disregard, such as naming your business the Kwick Kar Kare, but Campmeeting (with the "m" lower case, too!) almost looks as if the organizers believe it's one word.
So I can't deal. It makes me twitch a little. It reminds me too much of "healthcare," which also makes me twitch.
Besides, Campmeeting takes away from the time I could be watching the guy from the Almighty Cleanse infomercial talk about how he passed a "nest of worms" and something "six feet long" using a seven-day colon flush.
I often end up passing by INSP, because it's just a few channels away from Nickelodeon, which plays SpongeBob Squarepants. And SpongeBob Squarepants is the best cartoon that's been produced in the last decade.
I have found that INSP, also known as the Inspiration Network, specializes in the following types of programming:
1. Infomercials for religious/do-gooder charities, such as Feed the Children and St. Jude's Children's Hospital.
2. Infomercials for snake oil solutions to clean your colon, complete with pictures of things excreted during the regimine.
3. Infomercials for easy ways to get rich using real estate.
4. Campmeeting!!!!
Oh, glorious Campmeeting! (One word, not two!)
Campmeeting, as they call it, seems to be a gathering of a bunch of ministers who I imagine hang out a lot together--Mike Murdoch, Benny Hinn, some people with the last name Cerullo, and a few guys I don't know, but who are probably tight with each other.
Three-fourths of the times, when I happen to flip by, it's always on the part where Mike Murdoch is telling people about how people continually buy him clothes and cars. I don't begrudge the guy his cars and clothes, but I'd personally just ask God for cash, because it takes less storage space, but whatever.
Anyway, the whole point of this message is that, for some reason, INSP chose to call it "Campmeeting" as one word.
This irks my very soul.
There's no reason it should be one word. Camp meeting is two words. So is health care, BTW. Health care is never one word.
I choose not to give to a ministry that blatantly flaunts its incorrect grammar. It's one thing if it's an obvious disregard, such as naming your business the Kwick Kar Kare, but Campmeeting (with the "m" lower case, too!) almost looks as if the organizers believe it's one word.
So I can't deal. It makes me twitch a little. It reminds me too much of "healthcare," which also makes me twitch.
Besides, Campmeeting takes away from the time I could be watching the guy from the Almighty Cleanse infomercial talk about how he passed a "nest of worms" and something "six feet long" using a seven-day colon flush.
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