Confessions of a church-goer.

The 10 things I can't confess at church. Well, I probably could, but I won't. Inspired by this post at Stuff Christians Like. There were at least two Ambers in the reply last time I checked, but I'm not either of them.

These are in no particular order: 

10. There's a few things that people say at churches that I just don't understand (or I might understand, but I'm not sure). "Filled with the anointing" (or the "anointed preaching/teaching/singing/insert church verb here").  "Prophetic word." Anything that involves "moving to a new level." I'm sure I'll think of some more the second I publish this.

9. I've never read the book of Revelation. I have no idea what I believe about Jesus' return to earth.

8. Sometimes it only takes me a few hours to forget the topic of the Sunday sermon. Usually by 5 p.m., I have to do a lot of work to recall the message.

7. If you counted the number of scriptures I've memorized (scripture reference AND text), it's not nearly as much as it should be.

6. I roll my eyes at sermons geared toward families. I know those messages are important, but marriage is nowhere on my horizon, and sermons about family topics just remind me that I don't feel like a wholly complete member of society.

5. I hate the announcements section at the end of service. I'm at the end of my "being good and quiet" rope, and I'm ready to be free. Shut up. Let's go. 

4. One time the pastor caught me talking loudly to myself. He was all, "Who are you talking to?" and I said that I was talking to God, but, in actuality, I think I was talking to myself and, at the moment I was interrupted, I had *no idea* what I was saying. I still have no idea what I was saying, but it was probably very exciting.

3. I don't think I'll ever get to a place where the phrase "Jesus, lover of my soul" doesn't sound dirty or weird. 

2. Every time someone (usually the pastor) reads to the congregation one of those e-mails that list cute and precocious things children have supposedly said, I always want to yell out, "You know, I don't think kids really said any of that stuff! I think some adult was bored one day and made up a bunch of junk with fake kids' ages and names!" I never do it, but I'm always tempted.

1. There are a good number of people I see every Sunday at church whose names I should know, but I don't because I forgot after the first time they introduced themselves. I can't ask them at this point in the game, because I've been attending church there for two years and they all know my name.