I realized it (again) tonight when an old friend five years younger than I announced on her Facebook profile that she's pregnant.
For the second time.
She just had her first baby in May. She turned 20 three days later. She's going to have a husband and two kids by the time she's 21.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not *jealous.* I don't want kids, and I don't even know if I really want a husband.
It's just that it all feels like a competition that I'm losing, and I hate losing.
I thought about something just a few minutes ago: I've never been on a date. That freaks me out.
Yes, it's shocking that a facially deformed girl doesn't date. I know. *insert eyeroll here*
I think the idea that a 25-year-old girl has never kissed or dated anyone can still be kind of cute and endearing. Like, "aaaaaaw...she's waiting for THE ONE."
But as the years go by, it's going to become less and less cute, and eventually it'll just be assumed that I've never dated because I'm mean or insane or collect all my old toenails in a Ziploc bag. I mean, the one-ton man on that TLC documentary had a girlfriend. He couldn't do anything but lie in a bed and eat 10,000 calories in one day. I can walk and talk and do things, and I got nuthin'. (BTW, I don't want to think about what this says about my personality.)
Then I have, like, three other friends who were single last year, and they're all dating now. Thanks, guys. (Jerks)
The clock is ticking. Not the biological clock. The "If I don't start dating soon, guys are going to assume I'm not dating because I'm an awful human being, and then I'll die lonely and without having gotten to consummate anything, if you know what I mean" clock.
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