Usher/janitor at preschool

This is the church where I would never, ever want to be named an usher.

What is needed by Ushers to control the situation.
i.    Plastic bowls in case of vomiting
ii.   Tissue papers to clean saliva on the floor
iii.  Mats to lay people down.
iv.  Covering materials to prevent the display of the nakedness of women.
v.   All Usher should manage or carry female and vice versa

Vomiting? Saliva? Womanly nakedness? No, thanks. I'd just rather make their newsletter...