Riding on the time machine

Today I found this hilariously stupid thing I wrote when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school, about 10 years ago. Even more funny is that I wrote it during some kind of activity at Sunday School, and I read it to the entire class because I had to. My Sunday School teacher had this very uncomfortable look on her face...for a good reason. (To this day, I don't feel that bad for her, though. She acted like nobody on the van could hear her that one day she and the van driver made a bunch of racist jokes and comments about black people and Mexicans while we were on our way back from some Christian event.)

The assignment back then was to write about how I envisioned my life ten years from "now." I was 15 or 16 then. Now I'm 25.

I'll probably be living alone, because I hate people.  I'll probably be living in some rat-trap, because I won't be making enough money to live in a decent apartment.  I'll probably have annoying neighbors, because I'm never lucky enough to sit next to decent people in class.  What makes me think that I'll have acceptable neighbors?  I'll probably spend my free time reading books at the public library or Barnes and Noble, not buying anything--just reading and mooching off that which is free.  Why?  Because it's free.  I already do this.  My living space will be dirty, not only because it will be a rat-trap, but also because I don't exactly like cleaning up my room, so why would I clean up my apartment?  I'll be eating off of durable (perhaps rewashable?) plastic dinnerware because I'll be too cheap to go out and buy fancy silverware for my rat-trap kitchen.  Not to mention trying to get everything to MATCH.  I'll probably praying for a big miracle so I can have enough money to fix the crummy, barely-running car that I'll have and to pay for my tugal ligation that my crappy insurance policy will not cover.  I'll be lucky if my insurance policy covers diseases that actually exist.  My coverage will probably consist 100% of falsified diseases and conditions like "Spontaneous Dwarfism" and "Mutilation by Rabid Flying Beavers from Mars."    Yet, I will be stupid enough to pay these people to cover me from nonexistant threats to my health, instead of using the money to move out of my rat-trap apartment which will be the biggest threat to my health in the first place.

But then again, even if I wanted to move out of my rat-trap apartment, my car wouldn't run.  So where would I move?  To another rat-trap room in the same rat-trap apartment building?  Or maybe I could just move into the homeless shelter, except that I would be deemed too rich to live in a homeless shelter, which would *actually* increase my standard of living.  Yet, I would be too poor to buy an apartment that wasn't infested by scary, giant rats with long fang-like teeth. 

So, in the end, I wouldn't even be alone, which would make me even more miserable than I would be if I lived ALONE in the rat-trap apartment without a car or money or sufficient health coverage, because I also hate most animals more than I hate most humans. 

My life is going to suck.  I just know it.

For the record, my apartment isn't the Taj Mahal, but it's not a Turkish prison either. It's definitely not infested with anything. And my car runs nicely, and I have sufficient dinnerware. I do have a few annoying neighbors, though. I'm pretty sure my insurance covers actual diseases. But I don't clean my apartment nearly as often as I should.

My life doesn't suck, and I don't hate most humans, although I do live alone.