The universe proves me right

I used to think I was the only person who was bothered by the idea of giving a pastor a Bible as a gift, but tonight I stumbled upon this old post at Stuff Christians Like that totally validates my viewpoint in a most humorous fashion. (And while you're there, the best part is reading the comments underneath the blog, like this one: Because obviously the only art ministers like involves crosses, some sort of white Jesus with a halo, and/or a half sliced loaf of bread next to a golden goblet. It's nice to get a gift that says, "You're lame, but in a weird, holy way!"

I know it's hard to find the gift with the appropriate holiness factor for a pastor, especially if he actually *is* lame, but let's all admit to ourselves that giving a pastor a Bible  is like giving a doctor a stethoscope, a veteran businessman a briefcase or Bill Gates a laptop loaded with the latest version of Windows.

What's he supposed to say when you present him with his 32nd Bible that he now has to find a place for on his shelf of too many Bibles? 

"Thanks for buying me a copy of the core text that has allowed me to do my job for the past 20 years."

"Oh, wow, the words of Jesus are in *red*? That's nice..."

"Thanks for spelling my name right on the front this time..."

"Has anything changed lately in this thing?"

"So mine says 'Qaran' on the front, but that's the same thing, right?"

OK, and let me point out that I'm actually not a pastor, have never been a pastor, will never be a pastor and do not come from a family of pastors. So, in theory, I guess I could be full of crap, and pastors really do love receiving Bibles.  

But I wouldn't. Unless it were signed by Jesus himself (red ink, black ink, purple ink...doesn't matter). Or maybe Moses. But don't bother if it's just one of those minor prophets.

P.S. How does one go about purchasing a hate mail mongoose, anyway?