I struggle with the idea that abortion is wrong.
I didn't say I don't *believe* it's wrong. Yes, technically, if you light a fire under my butt and make me declare a side, I have to say abortion is a sin. I can't really find any Biblical way of saying otherwise.
I just don't *like* that it's a sin. And, not only that, I have to *remind myself* that it's a sin, and that makes me think that I'm going to get, like, the worst lecture ever when I meet God for real.
The crux behind the whole anti-abortion movement is that abortion = murder of an actual life. I get tripped up right about there. When I think "abortion" I don't think "dead babies." I think of a fetus disposed in a Dumpster with a sigh and everyone shaking their heads but telling themselves that it's better off this way.
I know, I know. I've heard the scripture a billion times, seen the in-your-face pictures of aborted fetuses and even read testimony from 40-year-old women who say the abortion they had at 15 still haunts them 25 years later.
But sometimes I tell myself that maybe scripture doesn't explicitly say anything against abortion, and gross pictures of aborted fetuses shouldn't be the reason anyone makes a decision about anything, and I would be just fine if I got an abortion, because I'm not one of those weepy emotional women who get all attached to ideas about motherhood and babies.
I think deep down inside, I just want to save abortion in my mind for myself, in case I ever found myself in the position to want one.
I hate the idea of being pregnant when I don't want to be pregnant. I'd get all the "joy" of watching my belly grow for 9 months...and then watching people try to figure out how I got knocked up. It just seems like it would wreck my life, at least for a good long while. It's not fair. It just seems like it would be easier for everyone involved to just...end it all.
I mean, honestly, if you're a 25-year-old with no maternal instinct and no desire to have children, especially if it's the child of some rapist, what sounds better at first glance? A few hours at an abortion clinic or 9 months carrying a baby and the rest of your life either raising the child or knowing there's a little "you" out there in the world? (Easy vs. Right. Isn't that pretty much life?)
I'm guessing I'm going to be left hanging onto this tree branch with one finger...
So...right here I'm going to insert a YouTube video of adorable little girls singing a lullaby, just to prove I don't hate children. Plus, I went to get myself a snack in the middle of this blog, and I forgot my point. Don't worry. I'm not pregnant.
And, on a semi-related note that just came to me, aren't we all guilty of selfishly interpreting (or just plain ignoring) scripture and common sense sometimes?
I only throw things when my wife makes me mad. She needs to submit to me like the Bible says. It's not like I'm hitting her.
I don't need to go to church. They're a bunch of hypocrites, and we aren't saved by works, after all.
I don't hate black people, but I just don't like hanging out with them. I know Jesus loves them, but that doesn't mean we all have to be friends. You can't be friends with everybody.
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