Pet Peeve No. 549

So I hate it when you're walking somewhere with your friends and someone approaches you asking for money for food or a bus ticket or whatever, and you decide to give him a couple of bucks, and then you and your friends are walking on their way, probably talking about how sad it is that people are homeless or whether or not each person in the group gives money to random homeless people, and then somewhere in the conversation some loudmouth, know-it-all guy* says "You know, it's best to give them gift cards or take them to buy a meal, so they can't use the money to buy booze or drugs."

1) Shut up! For real? Homeless people drink and do drugs? No way!

2) Your unique insight into the plight of the homeless is truly inspiring. I've NEVER heard anyone suggest that novel gift-giving idea before.

3) Have you ever really physically taken a homeless person to buy a meal or bought one a meal, Mr. Smarty Pants?

4) Half the time this comment comes after someone gives a guy, like, two bucks. For real. None of my circle of friends are handing out $20 bills. So are you going to carry around $2 gift cards to hand out to homeless people? Are you going to take that $2 and the guy to McDonalds and let him pick two things off the dollar menu? (And hope he has some change for the tax?) No? Then shut up. 

5) I don't think unknowingly contributing to the delinquency of a homeless man is going to get me in trouble when I get to heaven. I don't think it's going down like this when I see God:

God: Amber! After 4,39,776 years of judging your sins, we've finally made it to year 25! Thou gavest a man in the park $2.

Amber: Um...yes, Lord?

God: That man went out and boughteth a Keystone Light with thine $2, which thou gavest him!

Amber: He told me he was trying to get a bus ticket to Atlanta...yea, verily?

God: That doth not matter to me! Thou obviously forgot to readeth the mind-reading chapter in thine King James Bible-eth! Twas following the book of Revelation but before the index of common phrases that thou often useth because thou wert kinda slow in remembering thine verse references about love!

Amber: Dang! How did I misseth that one?

6) Seriously. It was $2. Let it go. I understand you've got to be smart if you're a church or a ministry or a nonprofit and actually hand out the serious dough, but individual contributions are usually not worth that much scrutiny. Oh, sure, if we all pool our resources we can buy a homeless guy a balloon of heroin, but that's his decision. That's not my decision.   

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not down at all on people who don't give money to random strangers. It's not like I do every time. I just hate that particular line. I just explained why. That's all.

* It's ALWAYS a guy. Always.