But, for now, the Sunday digest.
1. I broke the pattern of dress-wearing and wore capris instead. Sorry to disappoint you.
2. I prayed at the altar (and you know how I feel about altar-praying), and I hope I've filled my yearly altar-praying quota. But I like to think today there was a divine purpose other than for my spiritual benefit.
After I was done praying and everything I needed to dab my adorable eyes with a tissue--not that I cried or anything. It's just that, once I bow, gravity takes over and my eyes leak water. That's all. It's not the same as crying. I don't cry, because I'm a man and real men don't cry.
Anyway, so I reached into the beautiful tissue box next to me and pulled out, like, three *used* tissues, probably thanks to some snotty-nosed kid who needs to be slapped. Disgusting. I don't get it. When I was a kid I always knew to keep the Kleenex once I used it.
This was at first service. I took the dirty tissues out before second service. I saw someone praying in that same exact spot in second service, and so she was able to get unused tissues. Amen. Glad to do my part.
3. I had to speak to the whole congregation for a minute about my Willow Creek conference experience. Those of you who have heard my public speaking before know that I can be a dangerous loose canon, but I'm proud to report that I did not make any inappropriate jokes or accidentally say anything that would send me or anyone who heard it straight to hell.
4. Speaking of being inappropriate, today it was suggested that I get baptized once a month, just because I really need it. I'm afraid I wouldn't make it back up out of the water, though, if you know what I mean.
5. After church, I accidentally stalked the pastor to the gas station AND to the grocery store. Or he stalked me on purpose, which is more likely, because I'm pretty cool and everyone wants to be around me.
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